a typical sacrament meeting

So, we have learned through experience (and embarrassment) that we must enter and go immediately to the back row, very back, against the walll back.  That way the space behind us for baby to throw missiles is neutralized.  Mason warms up before the official beginning, running around, doing a few squats and leg lifts, cracking his knuckles, etc.  The opening hymn starts and he starts throwing a fit:  he wants to hold the hymnbook, he wants to tear a page out of the hymnbook, he tears a page out of the hymnbook, despite our best evasive maneuvers, throws it on the ground and stomps on it.  Dad holds him in the "dad-vise" for the remainder of the song while trying desperately to make him be quiet, Mom quietly replaces the page in the hymnbook, hoping that blessings aren't being deleted rapidly.  Opening prayer - Mason folds his arms quietly, he loves prayer-time (who knew).  After that the missiles start flying forward, every toy, book, shoe, food particle, it all becomes a missile aimed at the people in front of us.  Karly's high heel swooshes past the lady's head in front of us, rearranging her hair.  A Lego hits an older gentleman square in the face in the row beside us.  Karly's hair band gets caught in the gentleman's wife's hair as it is careening through the air.  Dad-vise time until the sacrament.  Mason loves the bread tray, he feels it is own little buffet, his bullet-like hand tries to grab a handful, but mom is faster and lets him have only one.  He gulps the water noisily, smacks his lips and says "AAHH" REALLY loud.  The easy part is over.  He crouches over with his head on the floor and runs around that way, leaning way forward with forehead to carpet, occasionally doing a somersault just for variety.   The kids now one by one keep asking when the can take him out.  To settle the weekly argument we have a designated "taker-outer" each week.  We decide whose turn it is each week before we exit the van.  We are trying to make it through the first speaker.  It's DJ.  Mason sees DJ up there at the pulpit and immediately starts yelling for him, "Deeee-Daaay, Deeeee-Daaay."  DJ keeps going for a minute and then finally says "hi Mason."  Everyone is staying in the chapel until the talk is over, that is the rule when a family member is speaking.  Mason sees a toy he wants.  It's not his.  He runs and grabs it from the toddler playing with it.  It's a giant whale.  He starts hitting the other kid with the whale.  Mom does the running crouch, grabs baby, returns the whale, tosses the baby to Preston who then, grinning hugely, exits the chapel.  Game over.  Mason.  He won the battle my friends, but we will win the war.